This time I have three what I want to call Romance, but probably are more Relationship tales. I do Relationship stories ever now and then. I have them in steampunk, SF, fantasy, urban fantasy, alchemy settings. These three are all general fiction and very short. Some of my relationship or Romance tales are suppose to be humorous, some are serious. These three are more for fun. One is what I call a mini epic poem.
You might wonder about the wife in the second story, but it's all good, I wrote it. :)
These are a total of 2,700 and some words long.
So now to the stories:
Hinglefingle’s Lesson
By L. E. Doggett
Tommy Hinglefingle sat on a large rock, today he became single. His seat felt hard and rough but he didn’t care. A tear formed in one eye.
He didn’t notice Jeff Kerkerfell rush up to him from behind. The newcomer slipped around the rock seat, Tommy saw him just as Kergerfell rang his bell.
Tommy hit the ground, stayed there long enough to realize he tasted blood and that one hand rested on a thorny weed.
Once back up, he raised his fists and said, “What was that for?”
“You messed around with my girlfriend.”“Me? You stole her from me...I should punch you twice.”
Jeff waved his hand as if to dismiss what Tommy said.
“Don’t change the subject, you messed with Emily.”
“Not recently...of course I messed with her when we were together...what are you going to do punch all her old boyfriends?”
Kerkerfell said, “You were more than a boyfriend, she married you...and she still thinks of you.”
“What? We haven’t spoken in months.”
Kerkerfell shook his head hard, “Don’t try to sell me. She has been distant the last few days and she changes the subject when I talk of us.”
Hinglefingle said, “Maybe she just wants to be single.”
Kerkerfell said, “She has mentioned your name you in our discussions of late, she wore a ring last night on her left hand when she gave me a quick good night kiss. I knew then that you had to be messing with her behind my back.
Hinglefingle paced, put his hands in his pocket, jingled his keys, stopped himself. He turned back to Kerkerfell.
“Are you playing a game here? She let you take her from me and filed for divorce...and no matter what you believe I haven’t even seen her in ages much less messed with her.”
Kerkerfell said, “Listen to me, you can tell I’m not playing a game! She really has talked about you and is wearing a ring.”
“Maybe Hizzorlone gave her one. She seems to like him.”
“No, she talks about you not him.”
“But...”
Kerkerfell interrupted, “She still wears that small bell you gave her too. And it was a wedding ring not an engagement ring. Call her and see for yourself. You will see I was right to sock you.”
Hinglefingle pulled out his cell phone said, “She would have called me today of all days if this was true,” and punched in a number.
A moment later he said, “Damn, the battery is dead.”
Kerkerfell said, “Maybe that is why she hasn’t called you, she can’t get through...She’s probably at Dell’s party, you should go talk to her.”
Hinglefingle paced again, rolled his eyes and said, “Okay, I’ll go see her mingle at the party...I’ll get this straightened out one way or another.”
Kerkerfell said, “If you haven’t messed with her I’ll apologize for punching you...but go find out.”
Hinglefingle started off, stopped turned back and said, “I’ll give you a dingle afterwards.”
He thought, and if this is a game, I won’t call, I’ll give him two punches.
After he got in his car he added, maybe it is true, I didn’t tell Kerkerfell that she tried to call me four times last night, if she really is wearing that ring she must have changed her mind which would mean today the divorce would be off instead of final...maybe something good can happen to me after all.”
The End
——————————————————————————
Not So Disappearing Husband
Tyler walked outside and stayed. Sanra from three houses down ran out on the street. She screamed in what sounded like anger and hit a wood power pole twice. The second time she yipped in pain. He thought of her as a short Type A personality. Long brown hair with a skinny physique, but he had seen her lift things, she was strong.
He hurried up to her. When he stood next to her, his nose winkled. He thought, boy this day started off bad, now a neighbor is freaking out. On top of that she must have forgotten to use deodorant and has been sweating. No wonder though for she wore grey and blue sweats and a long sleeve shirt on a warm day while he wore shorts and a T-shirt.
Out loud he said, “Wait, don’t hit that again, you might hurt your hand.”
She looked at him with a half snarl.
Tyler felt like he should take a step back instead he said, “What is the matter? Can’t your husband help?”
“That’s the problem, he’s gone.”
She wiped her face, he thought a couple of drops of seat landed on his nose. At least they hadn’t landed in his mouth, but if he tasted salt he would know where it came from. She took a deep breath.
“What do you mean he’s gone?”
“I mean he left-disappeared! With no trace, or note, or any word. I don’t know if he left me or-or what.”
“Did you call…?”
She interrupted him, “Yes, I called the police, it’s not long enough for them to investigate. I called a couple of friends, they think he’s off having a good time somewhere. I checked two neighbors but no one was home. His parents live too far away to come help look for him.”
“When did he disappear?”
“This morning, he said he was leaving for work and walked out the door. I watched him walk to where the car is parked on the curb. I turned away and started getting my breakfast ready. I looked up after a minute or two because I never heard the car start. He was gone and the car was still there. I ran outside and there was no sign of him. I looked up and down the street and called him.”
“You think he ran away from home?”
“Some of his stuff is missing, but because of how quick he disappeared-maybe a gang kidnapped him. That just happened to someone.”
“Before we go that far, let’s go back over where he disappeared. You might have missed something.”
She looked angry like she thought he had insulted her but a moment later motioned for him to go with her. On the way he took out some gum, the peppermint flavor would help him think, as it always did. It might be more the chewing motions but he didn’t care, it worked.
Sanra led him to her house and showed him the car.
She stared at him, said, “You think you can find something I missed?”
He shrugged, “Sometimes a new set of eyes helps and I know a little something about investigations. I watched enough crime shows and read Sherlock Holmes many times.”
She looked at him funny, but pointed at the car. Tyler knew what the car looked like already, but went along with it because of the mood she was in.
He grabbed the handle to see if it was locked, the handle felt very warm but it was a hot day. He looked up and down the street, examined the curb. Nothing but bits of paper the wind blew around. Tyler went across the street and talked to a neighbor who lived there. He nodded and came back.
“Show me where his stuff is missing from.”
She rolled her eyes, probably thought it was wasting time, but led him inside and into their bedroom. He stayed on the other side of the room, as he thought she was ready to hit him if she thought he might make a pass at her. The bed was unmade but he didn’t care about that. PJs lay on the floor-they looked like guy’s sleep wear.
He rummaged though their closet. The whole place smelled of hairspray, thick enough to taste. It really did look like some of her husband’s stuff was missing. Mostly his work clothes. After a few moments he nodded.
He said, “He didn’t leave a note or call?”
“No! I looked and he won’t answer his cell phone.”
“Well, let’s go in the kitchen and double check.”
“Okay, but you won’t find anything.”
He shrugged. She led him to the kitchen, he could still smell bacon from breakfast. It made his mouth water since it was lunch time. A bacon tomato sandwich would taste good about now, he thought.
Since he couldn’t have any right now, he blocked that thought and looked around. No notes. He moved things around on the table but nothing. He looked under the refrigerator but he didn’t think a piece of paper could slip all the way under it. The floor felt hard on his bare knees so after another two-seconds he stood, moved over to the counter.
Two large round plates rested there. One looked clean while the other had pieces of dried food on it. He looked at the plates and thought.
After a moment he called her over and lifted both plates. She looked at him puzzled then at the counter. He looked at her as her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open.
“Oh God.”
She stared at what lay on the counter, for a long moment before her arm moved quick like a snake as her snatched two pieces of binder paper. She read them over.
“Oh, oh. He wasn’t kidnapped, he got a call last night saying he had to go out of town for work. One of his coworkers would drive. He found out this morning that his cell phone was out of power and the guy’s car doesn’t have a cig lighter or any thing else to charge the phone. He has to wait until they get there to call me. That’s going to be about dinner time.”
She looked down at the plate, Kyle had put back.
“I must have been half asleep when I came in here this morning. I put down the plate and didn’t see the note, he was just walking out the door and I was thinking of him too-we had a fight the other day and I was still angry. We didn’t talk last night and I went to bed early. The phone rung twice and his cell rung three times. He must have used it up last night and forgot to charge it-he does that. How did you know there was a note?”
“I guessed at it. As I said I’ve watched detective TV shows and read Sherlock Holmes. When I looked over his clothes I noticed that it looked like he had taken his work clothes not his every day things. At least if he is like me and other men I know. In addition it looked like one small suitcase was missing from your set. I took the chance that you didn’t just lose it...finally the real clue came from the guy who lives across the street.”
“The one you talked too?”
“Yes, I asked him if he saw anything. He said, yes he did. You husband was picked up by a car full of men but he thought it was okay since they all waved and your husband carried a backpack and small suitcase.”
“I never thought about checking for his backpack, or what clothes were missing.”
She stopped talking, blinked five times.
Kyle said, “Are you okay?”
“Yes, no...I mean God, I was so angry with him, but when I thought he was gone I panicked. I thought something had happened to him and his last thoughts of me would be how angry I was.”
“You better apologize when he calls.”
“I will, I will tell him how much I can’t wait until he’s back.”
“In that case I better go...but I can get you the number of a good marriage counselor-sounds like you might need one.”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Okay,” he walked to the door and turned to say bye she stopped him.
She followed him touched his arm with her hand it was still sweaty, “Thank you-and maybe we do someone to help us. I...I don’t know how to deal with him or my anger when we get like that.”
“Good-I’ll get back to you.”
He walked out and back to his house. He felt good, the day was better than it started, he had helped someone and maybe even saved a marriage. Not a bad day after all.
The end
————————————————————————————
Ted went to bed after he led Ned to get fed. Ned liked Ted for he had cred.
Next they went to a store to buy red Keds and some meds to calm him,
So he could get wed to Sed, before Jed from the Feds could stop them.
For Jed wanted Sed to be wed to him. She wanted Ned. To wed him,
To bed him, to go from now ‘till they were dead with him.
Ted knew Ned was a good guy. A catch for any woman who would wed him.
He stood tall, with black hair and a serious sense of humor.
Ned worked well and was a head man in his company.
Sed was very pretty, nice, red hair, had a brain, had dogs she mended,
All of which was why Jed the Fed wanted her.
The next day Jed from the Feds tried to stop Ned and Sed from being wed.
He said that Ned was a red. Jed told Sed Ned wasn’t.
Jed told Ted to stop the marriage or he would be led to a cell.
Ted told Jed, “You have no cred, so go take some meds to chill out.”
Ted said, “That’s it then, you made your bed lie in it.”
Sed said, “We plan to after we’re wed.”
Ted got a call from Jed. He wanted Ned and Sed’s nuptials put to bed,
Or his face would get red. Ted took some meds for his head ache,
Laid on his bed to think and to rest. But his mind led him to dark thoughts.
He wondered if he should get some keds to run from the feds.
For he would not be led by Jed to stop them from being wed.
Ted called Sed told her what Jed said about their nuptials.
She said that Jed was an old friend who was now in need.
Sed would say to him to get the lead out and go away.
Even if he had to go in a red wagon pulled by Ged.
But she would not be near his bed nor be scared of the Feds.
Jed dressed in red called on Sed said, “Yo, come with me,” grabbed her.
He was tall and strong, angry with a red face, and he yelled. She thought he might rend her dress. Instead he forced fed her some meds to make her sleepy, led her away.
Ned saw them leave, yelled for Ted. He came over with his keds.
Both of them ran after Jed to save Sed. They found Jed’s house, busted in.
They saw her on Jed’s bed, Ned punched Jed in the head, thought he wore a lead hat.
He led Sed back outside to a car then to a place to mend.
Ted called other Feds who came and spirited Jed away.
Once Sed awoke Ned guided her back to her place.
So she could mend with her red stuffed salamander.
Sed slept and dreamt, woke and was fed.
Ned called Ted to ask about Jed and if he could wear his red keds.
Ted said that the Feds had led Jed away, they would make sure that
Jed was fed meds to make him stay in bed when Sed and Ned wed.
They could have their nuptials as planned, and go where they wanted.
Even if Jed wasn’t dead they would have no snags in their plans.
The next day Sed said her and Ned’s nuptials were not dead. They would be wed.
The next Sunday Ted led Sed and Ned to the church.
The Church with a nice steeple and stained glass windows
It was decked out in Blues and Green flowers, plus white ribbon.
The bells rang that they would be wed here.
Ned had his Meds, but was on the mend.
They wore Keds to run if Jed showed, but they also had tuxes on.
Ted plus many friends watched them wed and all were fed.
Sed and Ted said bye as they rode away in a red limo
To where their nuptial bed waited.
The end
